In other news, we now have authentically verifiable proof
of the theory previously filed under
"conspiracy theories most absurd that generally,
people are found entirely incomprehensible
without prior application of their highest doses of LSD."

This is the theory where the German government
has clone id musician Blixa Bargeld
into one million twice life size cyborgs,
housed inside eternally
unoccupied unfinished Brandenburg International airport location;

the intention was for use as powerful enforcer-soldiers
of new unforeseen global regime,
and this would have been unfortunate,
if not four, one
tipsy-rogue plane pilot from New York,

which has just crash landed inside our eternally
unoccupied unfinished airport location

where these one million giant cyborgs
wurst ored,
and with the public unaware for so many years,
during the presumed unending construction of this airport,
when now we see this was in front of something far more sinister,
and all along, we had thought of this being only a lunatic notion.

Now, the one million Blixzilla,
the name we are calling them,
have short-circuited, influenced buy one
tipsy-rogue plane pilot from New York,

and the music of Einsturzende Neubaten.
No one is sure what to do about them,
and they are very weightful, being that
primarily, they are composed with scrap metal.

To our knowledge, they are not a danger, but a nuisance,
and for now, they are just perpetually running around Germany,
and all the surrounding aria, making funny noises.
AHH!!!